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Choosing loneliness

Was a poor steward of time today, resulting in my staying home rather than going out. Actually, time alone isn't to blame. Feeling too lonely to be with people, though I know that makes no sense. I'll regret it tomorrow, when John and Nate tell me about the show, yet can't bring myself to go and feel this alone amid a crowd. Somehow it seems more manageable remaining physically alone. Maybe making a mistake, again.

The loneliness isn't permanent; it just hits hard sometimes, and all I can do is put my arms up and take the punches like a boxer against the ropes. Perhaps retreat isn't the answer, but there's plenty of time with others ahead tomorrow, and I fear running on empty.

Or that's all rubbish, and I'm just plain afraid.

There may be a long walk in my future tonight.

Comments

and the kids say word

hey there,
just noticed you on my friend of list.
by any chance, is the josh you speak of a mr. josh tillman?
i've been seeing his name EVERYWHERE recently...we went to the same college. he's like the new jesus or something :)

Re: and the kids say word

Good to read you. No, my friend is Josh Golden. I'm still with the old Jesus. :)