Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Battles, adventures, and beauties

There are three desires I find written so deeply into my heart I know I can no longer disregard them without losing my soul. They are core to who and what I am and yearn to be. I gaze into boyhood, I search the pages of literature, I listen carefully to many, many men, and I am convinced that these desires are universal, a clue into masculinity itself. They may be misplaced, forgotten, or misdirected, but at the heart of every man is a desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.

—John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

Today there is sun and the borderline warmth of springtime. Though I was rudely awakened by an AT&T telemarketer, I soon found it difficult to be anything but grateful for the day ahead and the opportunity to live in it.

Thoroughly enjoying Wild at Heart, and am thankful that most of the book still lies ahead. Eldredge also co-authored one of my heart's favorite books, The Sacred Romance (if you haven't yet read this, do), so I knew it would likely be deep and rich, as well as carrying the recommendation of many friends. Frankly, I sometimes feel stupid for how long it takes me to read through a book, but in this case, I'll gladly linger in these pages awhile.

Remember a few years ago when, after hearing a small slice of my story, Don Hudson asked, "You're a dangerous man, aren't you?" A smile crept across my face as I remembered, if only for an echo's moment, who I was, who I am. "Yes," I told him, "Yes I am." He saw me, even while I was hiding. It was good.

Since May, I've been called out of hiding, called back into my identity. In the strangeness and confusion, I've often wondered where God is, what He's up to, what story He's telling in my life. But really, isn't that wondering, that seeking, the whole point? The only way for me to have no questions now is to have no heart. That's not to say that I am no longer called to deny myself— I am, daily— but I am also called to live out who He's made me to be.

A battle to fight. An adventure to live. A beauty to rescue. This is going to be an amazing story. Indeed, it already has been.
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