When I even begin to let the paradox of God's absolute sovereignty and His intimate activity in my life sink in, my mind threatens to blow a gasket. God most high is God most night; the Lord of the universe is concened with the interior of my heart. Is it any wonder focusing on Him is difficult?
Let it go...
My focusing, my understanding, my struggling bring no peace— even though they are all part of the journey. Peace comes with my surrender, my abandonment to His grace. That's faith.
I want that undivided heart. Do this work in me, Lord.
Spent a few hours at Victrola with Nate and Grace this afternoon. Stimulating conversation, good friendships. Afterward I headed to the office for Sunday loose ends, returning home around 18:30. The rest of the evening has been household odds and ends, with a quick round-trip jaunt to the grocery store, resulting in the following semi-humorous dialogue with Jan, a bagger in her first day on the job:
Jan (seeing that I've purchased two loaves of bread and a bottle of wine): Enjoy tonight— I'm jealous!
Me: Don't be too jealous— it's for communion tomorrow.
[20 minutes pass, during which I drop the communion elements off at the church building and then swing back by on my walk home]
Me (while Jan bags my jug of laundry detergent): Now you see what my Saturday evenings are really like. Told you not to be too jealous.