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Wonderings

Christopher's wife Sara has e-mailed me for counsel. Their marriage is in such turmoil, and I can't help but feel speechless and ill-equipped. Felt similarly a couple of weeks back when a man I'd barely met asked to pray with me after church and broke down into a heap of sobs. Years ago, I hoped to be used by Him as a bringer of healing to broken souls. Now I feel inadequate and unqualified for the tasks before me. How could I possibly be used by Him in this way?

Received the Winter issue of Static\Epiphany Avaldus on Sunday. Three of my poems were selected for this issue: "Exodus," "Bartimaeus," and "Check in." So there's no misconception, the circulation of this zine is very small (around 50, I think), so it's hardly a big deal.

Another artistic endeavor on the horizon (not my own) seems more and more likely: a benefit compilation CD with artists related to my church. Tracks from some pretty big league acts seem likely (nothing official, but look specifically under "D" and "P" in my interests). Could also be a launch pad for another venture Phil and I have been half-joking about for a while. About time weirdness and irony worked in my favor.

As I was writing, received a phone call from Laine and Mike in Texas. Laine now works in an agency that develops measures to manage and counter biological weapon attacks and other national security issues, while Mike works in domestic disaster management training. Sounds like they may be moving to Seattle in July or August. Laine told me Mike would secretly like to start a bakery. I love them dearly and can't help but be intrigued by yet another possible case of ironic convergence.

The players are lining up.

Comments

Years ago, I hoped to be used by Him as a bringer of healing to broken souls. Now I feel inadequate and unqualified for the tasks before me. How could I possibly be used by Him in this way?

Remember what you commented to me a little while ago about God and a plan? :-)
He gives you what you ask for, but knows your limitations.

Pray that the Spirit will speak through you.
Hey! We are starting a bakery! haha Could you imagine the possibilities here? hehe We have some secret underground counter NWO operation out of some bakery in Seattle. You certainly are gathering all the connections. You just leave the baking up to Chris and Mike, the selling up to me, and you and Laine can insure safe passage for all of us, fully equipped with chem/bio suits, equipment and antidotes. haha This is just laughs. We can smuggle classified docs in our french bread, delivered daily.

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Ah, now she begins to see...

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You never mentioned the bakery! The bakery would have really helped Scully out ya know!

Besides, I was sleepy and grumpy last night. What else can I say? haha

ummm

hi, i know you don't know me...I accidentally came across your journal because my name is so close to yours, and everywhere else I'm just "banzai" instead of "banzai555" so I typed in banzai and came here! And realized...you're pretty cool! And I'm new to this livejournal thing so I wasn't sure if there was any way to post a private message for you. Well, first of all...I admire you for your faith. I'm only 18, but my mom's a preacher so I've grown up being a Christian and all...and it's cool to come across others that are so passionate about it as you. (I only have a couple of posts, and the first one is about some problems with my own faith...i don't know if you care or not...eck this is going nowhere, I saw the movie "signs" which totally rocks so I had to vent my feelings after seeing it...anyway if you haven't seen it I suggest you do, it's got a really cool religious message) Oh the other thing I wanted to say...you posted the lyrics to "he lives in you"! I love that song - I'm a lion king freak, as well as a lord of the rings freak fyi. so weird - i'm actually a member of fanart.lionking.org, a site to post fanart (duh) and my name is Banzai (of course). I dunno - it seems like looking at your posts, I saw a sort of mirror to myself - that's why I'm writing this to you. I'm sorry if I haven't made any sense. Ack I should go to bed, I have classes in the morning! oh btw I live kinda close to you too - going to UI in Idaho. Right on Washington's border. Anyway, sorry for boring you! :-)

Re: ummm

Wow, I'm honored, and I've added you as a friend. We Banzais must stick together, you know.

(Other coincidences: you're the second person today to recommend Signs to me, and I love Shyamalan's other films, especially Unbreakable. Also, I used lionking.org to get the lyrics for posting earlier this evening.)