December 31st, 2007

Multiplicity

Jettisoning others' baggage

Only have the vaguest of notions of how I want 2008 to be different from 2007. There are, of course, some practices I'd like to adopt (and others I ought to abandon), but nothing so firm as a resolution. Mostly, I want to exercise more freedom from other people's stuff—their gripes, their stresses, their insecurities, their flakiness, etc.

Even though I tend toward independence, I'm realizing I've also been adopting others' stuff into my life in a lot of unhealthy ways. It's the equivalent of being constantly interrupted on an emotional level, and I need to be more discerning in where/with whom I'm allowing that to occur. Otherwise I'm spending a lot of my time and energy reacting, which is often a very different thing from loving or caring (the things I'm called to do with the people in my life). It would, of course, be horribly self-important to assume I have the right to a life free of interruption; I just don't want to be a rotten steward of the (often limited) supply of time and energy I've been given.

Now, I've no clear idea how to do this beyond simply doing it—recognizing that others' stuff doesn't require a response from me. If I don't strive to live in greater recognition of this, I'll continue to find myself frazzled by things that don't matter and drained of resources that need to be invested in the people who do matter to me. The cycles and distinctions may not make much sense outside of my head, and that threatens to stress me out—a great example of what I need to walk free of. It really doesn't matter if anyone else gets it.