November 20th, 2007

Vivace

Give to the wind thy fears

Overheard on the bus, one little old lady to another: "Since we dyed our hair white, everyone is so nice to us!"

Lots jammed in already today (with communitygroup yet to come), all good, yet I'm strangely jangled. Spent some time in the morning with students from Seattle Pacific University talking about what it means to be a church in our neighborhood, then attended a luncheon for Operation Nightwatch. On the way back to the office, I started to feel suddenly overwhelmed (akin to the unsettled nervousness that comes in dreams when you have to take a final exam for a class you've never attended). Not quite sure what jumped the track; perhaps nothing more than the simple but jarring jolt of looking outside my own narrow perspective. At this point, I don't want to make too much of it, nor do I think it wise to disregard it entirely just yet.

So I'm deliberately not trusting my emotional instruments when responding to things that feel like they're flying my direction. Choosing responses rather than just reacting makes a big difference. Bigger still is clinging to the truth, the sure knowledge that I am a broken man in a broken world in need of a glorious Savior. That's not a pretty bow to put atop my fears in order to make them go away; rather, it's a vital context for glimpsing the larger reality into which those fears fit.