April 19th, 2005


Unleashing Heaven

I don't know what I'm capable of. By constantly telling myself I don't have the energy or bandwidth for this or that, or believing I shouldn't have to deal with some obstacle or frustration, I don't honestly have any idea of what God is capable of doing in and through me. Each is a way of protecting myself, guarding reserves so that I will not be depleted. My faith is so very small that I cannot even conceive of His bringing streams of living water from me.

Not that limits and boundaries are a bad thing. By no means. But I have cultivated a pattern of setting and drawing them so close to myself that no one can come in, that I cannot come out, that I will never grow. All for the sake of being safe.

Here's what's untrue about what I wrote above: I do know what I'm capable of. And I'm settling for far, far less because I'm self-centered and afraid. My weariness is in so many ways a choice, a safer one than risking becoming what I can be.

No more. Today I open up this life and see what she's got under the hood.
  • Current Music
    Jars of Clay, "The Stone"