December 2nd, 2004


How long?

Don't want to go to my evening meeting tonight. Don't want to do anything. Staying in seems like a better option in theory, but when I think about it, I know I wouldn't be content with that, either. I'm just tired, tired of feeling busy (regardless of how busy I truly am), tired of feeling alone (regardless of whether I really am), tired of my penchant for hurting my own feelings over and over.

It's not like I don't know better.

Jesus, sometimes I'm angry beyond words at the things You leave broken. And I'm angry because I'm sad, and afraid. Your promises should be enough for me. What about when they aren't?

How long, O Lord?

At least that's a prayer, too.
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