September 14th, 2004

Desk

The Body in my life

Up early, a good thing. Let last night's meeting discourage me, ostensibly because of people's short-sightedness, but ultimately because I don't trust God to use people so different from me or to make up for what we each are lacking. This Body of Christ stuff is so much more complex than mere "ministry." And it takes a lot more faith, a lot more hope, a lot more love. No wonder He works this way.

My own Community Group is tonight. We're looking at Acts 6:7-7:60; haven't done any prep work yet, but looking forward to taking some time later this morning. Heather and I have made Tuesday lunch a tradition in order to prepare together for our group that night. I truly love our group; the moments when it doesn't feel that way should be good tip-offs that I'm not leaving enough margin in my life and not trusting the Spirit to be the source of my love. In myself alone, I don't have what it takes. That's a grace.

Mustn't forget to write some of the thoughts about praise I've been meaning to flesh out. Also been considering beauty, glory, and how we respond to it. When I wrestle with lofty topics like these, I'm of two minds. Part of me has the excitement and joy of epiphany, of getting something I hadn't yet put my finger on, as well as the accompanying pride of feeling I've made those thoughts more coherent and communicable. The other part feels like a chimpanzee on a Smith-Corona—I may be having a good time, but I can't possibly be close to the mark or generate anything beyond gibberish.
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    awake awake