August 27th, 2004


Weekend at Irwin's

Woke up early to enjoy the beginning of my weekend. I'm writing outside at Irwin's, my local Wallingford coffee house. Don't come here as often as I'd like: they're only open until 17:00, which rules out evenings; if I'm up most mornings, I enjoy morning tea at home; and they're located up a hill, and I'm lazy. But I'm up, out of tea, and felt like getting out. Ran into my landlord as soon as I got here. So much for anonymity, but he's a neat guy and it was good to talk with him for a couple of minutes.

No wireless here, either, which means I might actually do something beyond web surfing. Imagine that. Sometimes I get scarily fixated on the internet, as if I'm looking for and expecting some kind of satisfaction to come over the line. I look and look for that whatever-it-is, finding various distractions along the way that semi-engage me until, in a fit of grace, I ask myself, "Why am I doing this?" It's a question I need to ask more often—I think it's a way in which I'm wasting my life because I'm afraid to face the fact that I don't know what to do with it when I'm not working.

Decided to read 1 Thessalonians for a while. It's been ages since I focused my reading (when I even do it) beyond what we're studying for Community Group, and I need that. Since I'd already been thinking about "test everything," it was a clear choice. Read the first half last night and I can tell God is and will be speaking into my life through it. Plowing through things too quickly and peripherally is always a danger with me; I want to sink into and soak up this reading.

Also for the first time in a while, I have all my Sunday morning arrangements locked down. Funny how that can weigh down on me when I don't have it done (terrible procrastination, probably because it involves asking people to do something) and how free I feel when it's out of the way. Nothing on my schedule for today or tomorrow, either, so this weekend is quite the oasis and blank canvas. I'll stop so as not to create mixed metaphor confusion.

It's a little chilly, and I'm still in short sleeves, so I'm going inside. I love that.
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