August 14th, 2004


Waking up and growing up

We begin to pout, become irritated with God, and then say, "Oh well, I can’t help it. I prayed and things didn’t turn out right anyway. So I’m simply going to give up on everything." Just think what would happen if we acted like this in any other area of our lives!

Am I fully prepared to allow God to grip me by His power and do a work in me that is truly worthy of Himself? Sanctification is not my idea of what I want God to do for me—sanctification is God’s idea of what He wants to do for me.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (14 August,"'The Discipline of the Lord'")

No more being a baby about this. I'm tricky with myself—other than outright sin, I resist God's discipline in ways that allow me to cling to a sense of superiority. But it's the same thing, really, and I don't have to peel back much of the veneer to see it. I give up too often. Give up on God, on others, on myself. As one who believes and hopes in the resurrection, that kind of giving up is somewhere on the continuum of silliness and stupidity. I know better, so it's time to stop my immature antics.

I smile when I say that, enjoying the patience and grace of my Lord with me. Infinite mercy.

Ahead today, other than the drying of my laundry, is some Community Group time at the park and housewarming for Beth. Definitely going to the latter; we'll see about the former. We've gotten a bit scattered about our time with Annette and Nate's group every few months, and this time it's such a hodgepodge that I'm not particularly invested. That's OK, I think—I don't need to be the prime mover.

Have so much trouble keeping up with keeping in touch with friends, family, etc. Could be nothing more complex than self-centeredness. How do others do it?
  • Current Music
    Charlie Peacock, "Rocket"

Pilgrim or arranger? (The last paragraph is the kicker...)

We know that the whole of creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is not hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. (Rom. 8:22-25 NIV)
Amazing. Paul is passing along to us the secret of the sojourning heart. We live in hope, and he says hope is waiting. And groaning. When was the last time you heard that in a sermon or the title for a new book? You, Too, Can Groan Inwardly While You Wait Eagerly! Everything I've seen lately offers a sure-fire way to "get what you want." How to be a success at work. How to be a success at love. How to succeed in work and love at the same time.

Here are questions to ask yourself to see if you are a pilgrim or an arranger: What am I waiting for? Is there anything I ardently desire that I am doing nothing to secure? The first time I asked myself, I couldn't name a thing. There were many things I was working on, or fretting over, or had given up wanting. I am thankful that was some time ago. Things are different now. Now I wonder, What am I still arranging for? I should like to let it go too.

—John Eldredge, The Journey of Desire
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful thoughtful