August 9th, 2004


It takes a village

Just back from seeing The Village with Nate and Natrix. Though I enjoy Shyamalan's work, this didn't carry the emotional resonance of Unbreakable, which pulls at my heart each time I see it.

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My hope lies somewhere else entirely, outside myself. He does not call me escape the pain but gives me His strength, comfort, courage, and presence to press through. And my hope does not disappoint.

It's been a good day. There are promises to live into. There are still matters about which I don't have peace. I've done all I can do. I need to keep reminding myself this is true, especially when it hurts or doesn't make sense.

I have called Thee, “Abba, Father”; I have set my heart on Thee:
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather, all must work for good to me.

"Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken" (Henry F. Lyte, 1824)
  • Current Mood
    calm calm

Morning meandering

Is the Son of God being given His opportunity to work in me? Is the direct simplicity of His life being worked out in me exactly as it was worked out in His life while here on earth? When I come into contact with the everyday occurrences of life as an ordinary human being, is the prayer of God’s eternal Son to His Father being prayed in me?

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (9 August,"Prayer in the Father's Hearing")

These are good questions for me to keep close. My prayer life has been weak or lacking, which is both disobedient and just plain silly. I've a nasty tendency to think of who I am not and live into that rather than living into who I am. There's nothing more core to who I am than who I am in Him, and nothing more essential to who He is than prayer.

Had trouble sleeping and slept hard with strange dreams when I did. Sleep has been like that a good deal of the time, which makes me wonder what I'm wrestling with. When I wake up, it literally feels as if I have been wrestling.

Looking at a forecasted high of 90 degrees today; it's hard for me to not already be in a bad mood about that. Instead, I can be grateful that I work at a great job in an air conditioned office. Seeing the hotter temperatures ahead, I bought a new fan to replace the one that didn't last a full week. The new one was more expensive and even has a remote control!

Dawn returns to China today, and Anne heads for Pennsylvania for a month or two on Wednesday. Got to say goodbyes yesterday; I hope I can do better about staying in touch. There are so many people I'd like to write.

Even with the heat, it feels like it's going to be a good day.
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper

Out of tune

Our instrument is out of tune from years of misuse. This is where the Law is our help. Everything in you may be saying, "But you don't understand. I want to eat the whole box of chocolates (or sleep with my boyfriend, or let my anger really fly). That's what really seems like life to me right now." God says, "I know you do, but it'll kill you in the end. What you think is life is not. That's not the comfort (or the love, or the significance) you are seeking. You'll wind up destroying yourself." The commands of God become our tutor in the healing of our desire. We need the Law because our instrument is out of tune; we're not clear all the time on what it is we really desire.

—John Eldredge, The Journey of Desire
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful thoughtful