March 4th, 2004



Peter now realizes that he does love Him, due to the revelation that came with the Lord’s piercing question. The Lord’s next point is—"Pour yourself out. Don’t testify about how much you love Me and don’t talk about the wonderful revelation you have had, just ’Feed My sheep.’" Jesus has some extraordinarily peculiar sheep: some that are unkempt and dirty, some that are awkward or pushy, and some that have gone astray! But it is impossible to exhaust God’s love, and it is impossible to exhaust my love if it flows from the Spirit of God within me. The love of God pays no attention to my prejudices caused by my natural individuality. If I love my Lord, I have no business being guided by natural emotions—I have to feed His sheep. We will not be delivered or released from His commission to us. Beware of counterfeiting the love of God by following your own natural human emotions, sympathies, or understandings. That will only serve to revile and abuse the true love of God.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (3 March, "His Commission to Us")

My sheepness and my individual prejudices are tightly linked. Headstrong and reckless, I have a tendency to ignore or outright disobey the Spirit of God within me. There are usually the nudges I need, yet I press on in my own direction, trying to live in the world as I think it ought to be rather than learning to live in the world that is. Reality isn't a compromise or a disappointment; it's a treasure to uncover and discover. If all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose (and they do), my life has to be about figuring out how this is true. That's in the living, not the analysis, and it's in community with the rest of the sheep, not alone.

And a little headbutting is inevitable.

Lunch at The HoneyHole— second time, second time this week, second time in two days. Amazing sandwiches (yesterday was Chachi's Favorite, today was The Gooch). Yesterday mojitos were the drink special, and today it's lemon drops (I know this would make chippa and journeyto happy). How have I missed this place for so long? I hereby commit myself to making up for lost time.

Actually, that's not a bad mission for my life, is it?
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