January 6th, 2004


Cry me a river

As the walls are closing in
And the colors fade to black
And my eyes are falling fast and deep into me
And I follow the tracks that lead me down
And I never follow what's right
And they wonder sometimes when they see all the
Sadness and pain the truth begins to light

'Cause I can't see no reason
What is blind cannot see
'Cause I want what is pleasin'
All I take should be free
What I rob from the innocent ones
What I'd steal from the womb

If I cried me a river of all my confessions
Would I drown in my shallow regret?

—Sarah McLachlan, "Black"

Poigniant for this time (and I still adore the version sillypilgrim and musicismath recorded).

Snowing in Seattle. Sounds like it will be for a while. Need to dig out different shoes to wear to work; the hole in the side of my sneaker promises an uncomfortably cold and wet foot otherwise.

Looking at Psalm 57 for tonight's Community Group. David wrote it while in a cave. That's also where he became a leader, where a ragtag band of misfits and outcasts gathered to seek refuge by his side (1 Samuel 22:1). This was God's King, and in Him his soul took refuge.

That's what I need. He is so good to me, regardless of who I have been. He is faithful to His character, to His covenant, to His love. He has a purpose for me, one far beyond my paltry diversions and even my grandest dreams. I've spent a lot of time in this cave, and as I look up from dwelling on myself, I see the other ragamuffins around me who need Him as much as I do. We have places to go.

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
   for in You my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of Your wings
   until the disaster has passed.

I cry out to God Most High,
   to God, who fulfills His purpose for me.

—Psalm 57:1-2
  • Current Music
    Pegasus, "Black (Dark Mix)"