October 19th, 2003


Not in the mood

A few moments between waking and work; trying to be in a better mood by slowing down for these moments, but I can already tell I've failed. A little sick and a lot grouchy-- my disposition can best be described as "not in the mood." Hate that I can't just change that. At least I can be aware, try not to dwell, and look forward to feeling better. This, too, shall pass.

Want to live better today. So much of that is my choice, probably more than I want to be responsible for. The Son has set me free and I am free indeed, yet it's almost as if I'd like to be less free so that I could believe myself to be a victim of circumstance. If He has made hope, joy, peace, love, faithfulness, and holiness (and so much more) possible in Him, then my state is that much more out-of-order.

We are at war, Christian friends. Sometimes we forget.
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