October 14th, 2003


In the middle

Having some rest yesterday seems to have done me some good, as today was productive at the office. Was going to drop off a deposit and tax payment at the bank before heading home, but when the #10 pulled up and opened the doors of opportunity (to go directly home) in front of me, I chose to climb aboard. Opportunity is like that sometimes and so am I. The bank errand can be done in the morning.

While working and walking, also have been doing a lot of thinking. So many of my friends are either looking forward in a spirit of excitement or looking backward with a twinge of regret– often looking at the very same things. How much of our time is spent in worlds of what could be or what could have been? Neither exercise is wrong or bad; both can become idolatrous. Faithfulness is walked out now, rooted in a faith from promises past and reaching toward the hope of promises yet to come.

Yet sometimes, I do wish my friends could see with one another's eyes. I want to warn half of them of catastrophe unforseen and help the other half recover from losses suffered. Neither half is positioned to lend me much ear, and truthfully, I don't have as much to give as I'd like. But He does, so I pray that He will speak and reveal, open eyes and unstop ears, here and now.

Life can't be lived in the past or the future. I've tried both, sometimes at once. But I'm tied to now, tied with questions: What is God supposed to do with all of this? What is He doing with it? And what am I supposed to do in the middle? There's hope in those questions, too. For now, I just keep walking.
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