September 30th, 2003


Borrowed time

Almost got hit by two cars as I walked in a crosswalk this afternoon. The first one might have killed me, the second one almost certainly would have. Seeing what was about to happen, I walked past the first and stopped short of the second (a mini-van), which skidded to a belated halt. Two bicyclists were obviously disturbed by what they almost saw, loudly cursing cars in general. Other than sidestepping the problem, I had no response.

No response on the outside, anyway. Inside, I'm thankful for my life, yet feel separate and alien as well. It's different from the norm to not be shaken or angry, to simply and calmly assess and act. I almost died and I honestly don't feel a thing about that. It was just one more thing to deal with on the walk back to the office. That's part of being me, largely a gift, but one that makes me feel a bit freakish. As I saw the drivers, the cyclists, and the other bystanders, all I could do was shrug and walk on, thinking, "I am not like you."
  • Current Music
    Dolour, "You Can't Make New Old Friends"