June 3rd, 2003


Back to basics

'Tis the First Sight and Second Thoughts ye have, and 'tis a wee gift an' a big curse to ye. You see and hear what others canna, the world opens up its secrets to ye, but ye're always like the person at the party with the wee drink in the corner who canna join in. There's a little bitty bit inside ye that willna melt and flow.

–Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

afterthefall commented that she saw the above quote in hrairoo's journal and thought of me. Pretty spot on.

Haven't accomplished much today, but I showed up, and sometimes that's all one can do. Perhaps the remains of the day will bring an explosion of energy and/or productivity. Wouldn't advise banking on that, however.

Because God seems to enjoy irony in His dealings with me, this week is completely socially booked: dinner out with expressedinword, taci, and friends tonight, dinner and jazz with Ann tomorrow, dinner at the Millers' Thursday, a business meeting, a graduation dinner party for Ashley, and a birthday party for Michelle on Friday, Community Group potluck on Saturday, and our All-Church Lunch on Sunday. Perhaps it is His way of taking care of me. Not dreading any of these commitments at the moment, nor am I able to be as appreciative or excited as I ought to be. Just emotionally numb and flat, but functional.

Have some truly awful coping mechanisms that need to change. Time to get back to some basics and see where that can take me.
  • Current Music
    Sarah Brightman, "Who Wants To Live Forever? (club remix)"

Of drifting and breezes

Delicious dinner at Buca di Beppo with expressedinword, taci, Dawn, John, and Nate. Ate just a bit more than too much, laughed a lot, and didn't lose my capacity to be engaged until close to the end of our time (when the exchange of movie lines went too far and too fast for me to keep up). Sometimes my thoughts and presence drifted, but that seemed common and acceptable around the table.

Wasn't the most focused day at the office, but productive here and there, particularly on a couple of B-Side Records matters. My "Minty Fresh" 12-inch United State of Electronica EP reached my desk today, a circular vinyl icon of love, happiness, and music. When the "Jolly Rancher" edition arrives, then all the more!

My friend Mikal linked to more of my writing in his blog. It only now occurs to me that he's an Acquisitions Editor for a major publisher. Maybe there's a future in this?

A little peace snuck up on me, too. Nothing that changes the world, but enough to make the air a little sweeter and easier to breathe.
  • Current Mood
    full full