January 18th, 2003


Ezekiel 1

Wheels in wheels, faces four
Eagle's eye, wings to soar
Ox's strength, lion's roar
Many parts of man and more

Lightning flash in storm unknown
Crystal sky and distant throne
From likeness of a sapphire stone
The man of fire— God alone

Blinding as the ember's glow
Brilliant as the raincloud's bow
In vision did His glory show
Then voice, to tell of judgment's woe

Return to unwelcome territory

Strange day. Started out fine, but around midday, while I was at Victrola, something hit me, hard, and crashed inside. One of those emotional things I don't have a ready explanation for (no objectively discernable cause). Since then, I've been pretty non-functional, frozen, paralyzed. There are things I have to do tonight, and I can't find the internal resources or reserves to do them.

This has happened to me before, a few months ago (oddly, starting on a Saturday: I wrote about it here and here), and God got me through it. Have to pray and trust that He'll do it again. Feel like a dead man walking right now.
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