November 28th, 2002


Giving thanks

Just returned from Thanksgiving dinner with taci and mumbledjargon. Phenomenal meal: turkey, stuffing, garlic mashed potatoes with gravy, cranberry jelly from the can, dinner rolls, carrots, sweet potatoes, and onions. I brought (upon outstanding expert recommendation) a 2000 Estancia merlot, which was very well received. The company was excellent, another thing for which to be thankful.

It's been hard to write these past few days, hard to know what to document and how. No words, more questions, no answers. I've been moved to more laughter and tears than I can remember; moments are made more precious in the shadow of knowing that I may have to leave it all behind. God, I don't want to. Grant me the courage, the strength, the wisdom, the peace, the love to do whatever I must.

A question, posed by a young one days ago, still echoes in my mind: "How do you know all this stuff?" She asked more than she realizes. I don't know how, kiddo. I just do.

My dreams are strange and wonderful again.

A postcard sits beside me, a few oddly resonant sentences on its back. I wish. But I am no less thankful. No, even as things are difficult, I am more thankful. More thankful by far.
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