October 5th, 2002


I'm no Renaissance man

Much of the day was spent with work. Felt like an idiot with church finances, which should inspire confidence in no one. One of these days, I'm not going to feel like a failure, but it's not going to be today.

And yet, God is gracious and good. I didn't expect peace today, yet it found me all the same. Had a great, quiet dinner at Blue Willow Tea House (yellow curry chicken and Earl Grey tea), then joined Grace and Rebecca for the opening of the "Collaborators" exhibit at soil gallery. Quite intriguing: pairings of Seattle visual artists and New York writers creating art together, with bits of documentation of their collaboration process. As an introvert, I'll likely go back when it's quieter and I can soak it in a bit better.

I don't think of myself as a guy who goes to art shows, but I'm not the man I used to be and not sure who I'm becoming. It was strange to have Grace and Rebecca regard me as some kind of artist in my own right because I've jotted out poetry. Could I grow into this?

Continued to feel blessed in stopping by taci's on the walk home, plus a quick hello to expressedinword on the phone. Comfortable apartment, comforting friendship.

Picked up communion bread on the way home, and as I left the store, I heard a woman's voice asking for change, in a weary tone full of cynicism and hopelessness. I turned to talk with her and saw something familiar there— I was reminded of Jodi. Her ask was for money for a safe place to spend the night. Truth? I don't know, but with what will tomorrow be the broken body of Christ for believers in my bag, a ghost from my history desperately in front of me, and two dollars in my pocket, I could only give– a couple of bucks and a few kind words.

I wanted to do more, more than I could. I couldn't save her. I couldn't save Jodi either. So I prayed, because He can.
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