July 30th, 2002



Running slow when I need to run fast, it seems. The amount of undone tasks which need to be completed in the next 36 hours before I depart is overwhelming, sometimes to the point of paralysis. Yet my abilities and strength can't make them all happen. I have to feed my soul, live in the reality that I am a branch of the True Vine. It's a struggle.

My weakness and need are very real to me. I'm wild, rebellious, unfaithful, and afraid. So much I need to change, to stop, to let go. How I need His grace, His Spirit! I don't like who I am when I live my own way, even though the trappings of those paths still entice me— less-wild lovers that call to me in the quiet of waiting on Him.

Returned to Romans 6-8 again this morning, just where I needed to be.

I am wondering many things, listening for unheard voices.
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