Arrived at the office (after a day off) to find that my ex-boss left a gift for me: a stack of bill envelopes to lick, stamp, and send. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
...and sometimes I'm not. Now I'm not. And it's terrible, I know, but I'm all out of compassion and patience for the moment, so I'm not appreciating the lovely socio-economic and mental health diversity of my neighborhood. So for right now, I just want everyone to stop asking me for money when they're strung out, stop shuffling around with wild eyes, stop dressing up in women's clothing and makeup if you're a man, stop mumbling incoherently. Just stop being crazy. And if you are going to be crazy, then please just stop being in front of me all the time.