Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

  • Mood:

Glimpses of hope

Spent a great day with Daniela and Chad: beautiful weather, wonderful company. San Francisco is still a bit overwhelming to me, though not as much as last visit. Caught up over coffee with Daniela, then met Chad for lunch and The Two Towers. I like him, and I like them. Afterward, we headed to ther Community Group, where a delicious home-cooked dinner was served. The hostess mentioned hearing "Daniela's friend from Seattle" mentioned on numerous occasions in the past. I confess I'm curious about this.

Saw a glimpse or two of the man I could become today. Not a clear picture; just a hint here and there. Something better, someone better. Consciously chose to be untrue to that in other moments, but my hope is not in myself.

Hope is becoming more precious to me in recent days, as I see my life and its trajectory more clearly (which is still not clear at all). So very far to go; in my weariness, hope sustains and refreshes. Perhaps better words will come another time.

Was also hit with a few reminders of the irony so close to me on this trip. I'd be a liar if I said it didn't frustrate me, but now is a time for me to learn to trust. Hope requires this.

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