Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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In His care

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord;
   keep watch over the door of my lips.
Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil,
   to take part in wicked deeds
with men who are evildoers;
   let me not eat of their delicacies.

—Psalm 141:3-4

Sometimes I write some reflections on a passage of Scripture, but this one is a prayer, plain and simple.

Astonishingly good day today. Been crazy enough that the bar for "astonishingly good" has been lowered to being able to hold a thought for more than five seconds and to not having to fix a major crisis. The lowering of the bar isn't a bad thing— gratitude comes more readily for simple blessings.

Truth is, I think I'm being prayed for.

Accepting the gift has enabled me to have ample time for both work and rest. Nothing that troubles me has magically gone away (of this I would be seriously suspect), but it's been placed back in the context of God. In small ways, He's freeing me to abandon myself to Him, stripping me of the other things I would grip instead. Control is a huge idol for me, and I'm forced to admit (over and over, in all areas of my life) that I flat out don't have it. He does. More than that, He has sovereignty.

And He loves me. How He loves me!

I still don't understand all that He's doing in my life, not the whats, not the hows, and not the whys. But I'm able to trust Him a little, in large part because of the Spirit's work on my soul, and in no small part because I have nothing else.

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