Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai
  • Mood: tired

This world is not my home

Another day of three steps forward and two steps back at work. Doing things right is not my forté, nor is getting things done. Feeling like an idiot isn't getting more comfortable, yet it's happening frequently enough for me to wonder what God is up to. Relying on my own sense of competency (or even having one) seems like less and less of an option.

Let myself think about Jodi a bit today. Dusted off stories long untold. I still miss her. Life is different now.

At tonight's Community Group, Walter talked about the encouragement that comes of sharing our stories, realizing how much we have in common, and drawing strength from those who have gone ahead. Everything he said was right on target, in theory. In practice, it is hard to apply to the stranger parts of my life. I am at once touched by my group's loving, giving hearts, and left feeling alien, knowing how separate I am.

I want to find my home.
Subscribe

  • The analog ideal and the digital real

    There’s an underlying issue that’s been bugging me on the digital vs. analog stuff I’ve seen off and on for some time. So on Facebook, I tried to lay…

  • Being the limiting resource in the rushing stream

    Last weekend was our church's annual Men's Retreat, with the theme of "Living Intentionally." Though I was only able to attend a portion of the time…

  • Losses and messes

    Hasn't been the easiest past couple of weeks. Nothing awful in the scheme of things; just a steady stream of losses and messes, departures and FUBAR…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    switch
    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
    Help
  • 2 comments