Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai

  • Mood:

Ugh

I'd hoped somehow to have my emotional kinks ironed out by this point in the day, but such isn't the case. God, I wish You'd just come fix everything, heal everything, restore everything. I'm sick of myself, literally sick. Want to post "keep away" signs all around me, because I'm too tired for all but those closest to me and I'm afraid of harming those who remain. I don't want them to keep away; I just want to not be an idiot. That doesn't seem like an option. Can't say what I mean, don't know what I mean. I'm a minefield of misunderstanding and miscommunication.

This entry's pointless, except to try to get it out of my system and to ask forgiveness from anyone sucked into my weirdness today. It's left a knot in my stomach— that was never something I wanted to pass along.

Too bad they aren't serving cake at this pity party. At least I get to use the grotesque "sick" icon.
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