Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Q & A

Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm. He said:
"Who is this who darkens My counsel
   with words without knowledge?
Brace yourself like a man;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer Me."

—Job 38:1-3

Unexpectedly needed to rest today, so I've taken the day off. As I noted to a friend, sometimes our bodies wait until we downshift to demand what they need to be renewed. Maybe our souls are not so different.

Catching up on some e-mails and even a postcard this morning. Feels good to finally do what I need to in order to keep in touch. I'd like to do that with God, too.

Though I don't have many articulated questions of God, my questioning of Him is implied in my living, my lack of faith, my lack of trust, and my pursuit of less-wild lovers. I'm no Job, who stood by God even as he questioned. If Job's questioning earned a bracing response, how much moreso mine?

Yet that is perhaps exactly what I long for— not punishment but presence from Him. I imagine a quarrel of lovers. If my Lover doesn't love me enough to speak to my betrayal of Him, then He values me and our relationship very little. Grace and forgiveness are not granted in silence, but in dialogue.

Then Job replied to the Lord:
"I know that You can do all things;
   no plan of Yours can be thwarted.
You asked, 'Who is this that obscures My counsel without knowledge?'
   Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
   things too wonderful for me to know.

"You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer Me.'
My ears had heard of You,
   but now my eyes have seen You.
Therefore I despise myself
   and repent in dust and ashes."

—Job 42:1-6

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