Even claiming to be disturbed or afraid indicates more emotion than I'm truly feeling. I know there are dry times, desert times. Do they feel different from falling away? I'm apathetic about my sin as well, though certainly more faithful in pursuing it than I have been in pursuing Him.
My only hope (as always, for all of us) is that my relationship with God is built on His faithfulness, not mine. I simply wonder why I don't care more.