Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai
  • Mood: apathetic

Store in a cool, dry place

When I think about how I'm doing spiritually, I just want to shake my head. Inside, I'm empty, and I can't even find the desire for things to be any different. Virtually no prayer and no Bible reading in recent memory; I even skipped out on church this morning. The lack of spiritual activity isn't what frightens me-- my apathy is.

Even claiming to be disturbed or afraid indicates more emotion than I'm truly feeling. I know there are dry times, desert times. Do they feel different from falling away? I'm apathetic about my sin as well, though certainly more faithful in pursuing it than I have been in pursuing Him.

My only hope (as always, for all of us) is that my relationship with God is built on His faithfulness, not mine. I simply wonder why I don't care more.
Subscribe

  • Being the limiting resource in the rushing stream

    Last weekend was our church's annual Men's Retreat, with the theme of "Living Intentionally." Though I was only able to attend a portion of the time…

  • Losses and messes

    Hasn't been the easiest past couple of weeks. Nothing awful in the scheme of things; just a steady stream of losses and messes, departures and FUBAR…

  • Eventless

    Yesterday was largely eventless, which is what I'd like (and very well might need) more days to be. Beautiful springtime weather was a nice bonus,…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    switch
    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
    Help
  • 5 comments