Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai
banzai

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Steps

Deep, thick fog this morning, diffusing the sunlight not unlike a snow-laden sky. Most Seattlelites would have little idea what that's like, but I am blessed. Droplets highlighted spiderwebs all along my morning walk to work.

A good day, by and large. God has strengthened me, though I wish I could do more for some. Limits— I hate them, even though they can serve to turn me to God.

Learning with stumbling steps to care for the poor and homeless I see each day, inspired in part by a recalled story of San Francisco and oranges. Starting to pack two lunches each day: one for myself, and one for anyone who may ask me for money for food as I walk. Eventually I'd like to include cards with information about my church, as well as having bus passes on hand. These could be deliberate steps to help, rather than just deciding on the spur of the moment whether to spare change.

As I said, my first steps have been stumbling: ended up leaving my second lunch in the office fridge as I ran end-of-day errands on Broadway (where being asked for money is a given). Then, after picking up apples and soda, I gave my spare change to a woman selling snacks as part of a charity mission to get herself off the street. Moments later, I was approached by a woman I'd given money to on Saturday— I remember the noise and chaos I sensed within her— and gave nothing. It only occurred to me moments later that I had a bag full of food I could have given from.

Stumbling, but learning. Far to go, but a trustworthy Leader.
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