?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Arch

Nighttime tea

I thirst.

—Jesus (John 19:28)


As I noted earlier in the week, I haven't felt much like writing. Made myself a cup of tea to relax and realized even that isn't as simple as it used to be. Community Group, while good, felt random, scattered, and a bit superficial. Lots of that was internal: since I haven't opened a lot of who I am to the group, of course they can't reach a lot of me. Catch 22, but I can't imagine throwing my strangeness on the table for discussion and Q & A. It's all too deeply personal and, truth be told, I'm too fragile in those parts to expose them to so many at once.

I smell rain.

I'd write about work, but I just don't care about it all that much today. There's too much busyness now, and none of it can really be sidestepped. Trying to do so keeps biting me in the ass.

People I should call and notes I should write. "Don't talk business until you're ready to do business" is one of my personal rules, and it might be what stays my hand just now. I don't know what I want, what I should pursue, what I should invest in. Or what I can have.

I've finished my tea.

Comments

"[C]onstantly we have to give birth to our thoughts of our pain and, like mothers, endow them with all we have of blood, heart, fire, pleasure, passion, agony, conscience, fate, and catastrophe. Life - that means for us constantly transforming all that we are into light and flame - also everything that wounds us; we simply can do no other." - Friedrich Nietszche, The Gay Science

peace be with you, dear captain.

groups are like family!

"Catch 22, but I can't imagine throwing my strangeness on the table for discussion and Q & A. It's all too deeply personal and, truth be told, I'm too fragile in those parts to expose them to so many at once."

I know what you mean about opening up to a group. Even an intimate Bible study support. I have been a part of so many with my closest friends. I think there is a balance, and it's like your business quote- do it when you're ready. Don't let anyone or yourself pressure you too much until you feel obligated, otherwise you betray yourself in a way. The best thing about group is the being together whether it's superficial or deep. Of course there's always that honeymoon stage followed by some struggle. So there, I'm glad I figured that out. Yeah right! Group dynamics are a complex thing, especially when rooted in the Spirit.
I love the smell of rain.
I love the sound of rain
and the feel of rain.

The only time I don't like rain is when there's wind involved.

There is plenty to be said for silence :)
Ironically.
I especially like that last thought.

Also, I'm really enjoying your mix tape.

Re:

Hey thanks :)
I don't really know what kind of music you listen to... so tell me who exactly you enjoy :)