Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Adventures in Dullsville

I've had trouble writing for the past couple of days. Life has been composed of events too dull to document and thoughts too personal to share. I've used private entries sparingly in the past, but that might be a good idea to clear some things out of my system.

An example of the deadly dull: yesterday I began the process of moving the functional elements of my office to the front of our suite. With our church's recent staffing changes, we have a lot more space to use, our chief musician would like space in the office, and we've got it in abundance. For a time we considered using the vacant Senior Pastor's office temporarily, but it seems better to leave it empty. The hang up I needed to get over was the idea that, since I'm now doing things that are seemingly "more important," I should be in a private office (which is how I've been working since April, in my ex-boss's old space). Truthfully, that desire is just a combination of pride— the largest portion by far— and inapplicable/outmoded hierarchical organizational thinking. Our staffing prior to April was top heavy (I'm the only one who'll get the pun) and cumbersome, not at all organized around the true nature of our church or our mission. The fact is, especially in Kingdom work, we are servants, and I will serve best as our church's Administrator by being at the front and yielding the back office space to our Chief Musician (which, I learned from an elder, was the original intent for that space when the office was designed a couple of years ago). As soon as I started the move, I knew it was the right call.

[Or the short version: yesterday I dragged the old PC for our database up front and transferred my files to the G4 at the front desk. Phil will move into the back office.]

Had almost-eerie "small world" conversations with new friends via the net. It's strange and strangely good to have ties to my old life brought back to the fore ("Donuts! Crushed, fresh donuts! Mmmmm...donuts."). Lots of memories, and I was thankful that I hadn't thrown out some documents from that time.

Wrestling with some discouragement, disappointment, and perhaps a bit of depression. It's an attack, I know, but I still feel it and haven't been dealing with it so well at times. Sometimes it's easier, and sometimes it's not at all.

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