I’m still pretty empty and joyless, which means while a day off may be necessary, it’s not likely to be rejuvenating. Searching for the answer to my deadness is a terrifying, painful prospect from which I swiftly and consistently free. The moments can be filled in only a few ways:
- With frustration
- With indulgence
- With pain
What can I do? I’m afraid to leave behind any of the indulgences to pursue a real life, out of fear that the emptiness will be filled only by frustration and/or pain. Faith is dead, or at least dry and hidden.
Living Water, Bread of Life, Breath of the Holy Spirit, I need You. Good Shepherd, seek and find me— I am lost and too afraid to come to You.