Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Fire and hope

Whatever else it may be, prayer is first and foremost an act of love. Before any pragmatic, utilitarian or altruistic motivations, prayer is borne of a desire to-be-with the gentlest, most attractive, most interesting and most lovable person I have ever encountered. To really love someone implies a natural longing for presence and intimate communion.

–Brennan Manning, A Stranger to Self-Hatred: A Glimpse of Jesus

There are times I just wish I could split days, or multiply them. It's not that I don't want to work today, or attend worship service, or have brunch and collage-making at Heather's. It's that I also want quiet, solitude, another run at rest. I have all the time God has given me, which means my dilemma is internal.

Why is this such a hard time on so many hearts? Has it always been so? Even though I have a strong cynical streak, I still say this is different, that some of us are being thrust into the fire. My only guess and hope is that we are being prepared, refined, changed, forged. I hold out for glory, trusting the fourth man of Nebuchadnezzar's fiery furnace.

More later, I hope, as the day quiets.

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