Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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Indoor/Outdoor Sunshine

This life ought to be spent by us only as a journey towards heaven.

—Jonathan Edwards

The day outside is gorgeous: sometimes I find the bright days oppressive, but I'm fairly enjoying it today. Objectively, it's been a reasonably good work day. Though my motivation hasn't been outstanding, I'm plugging along and getting things accomplished bit by bit.

Inside, it's also a bit-by-bit process. I'm feeling better: sometimes, like last night, I feel things that are out of proportion with reality— analytical as I am, the heart does not lend itself to cold calculation. Writing has always helped me a lot; unexpected morning coffee with taci and the prayer of good friends also lightened the load. In time, my perspective readjusts; I am learning to let my heart live while realizing that it cannot be allowed to dominate all of me (in the past, I simply locked it away). Or, perhaps better understood, my emotions are not the whole of my heart— there is something (and Someone) deeper, truer in its depths that must rule.

Not sure what I'll do with the evening. I have a full range of options for being social (Enterprise night or a show at I Spy), or not at all. Somewhere I'd like to get in some reading, and perhaps more writing.

I'm on lunch break at the Blue Willow again and happened into a Jesuit and graduating student from my SU days. Actually, one of my primary motivations for lunching here today was to see my perky waitress friend again. She is an indoor ray of sunshine. I need all I can get.
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