Maximillian Amadeus Banzai (banzai) wrote,
Maximillian Amadeus Banzai

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A moment's rest

Satan mounted his rebellion through the power of one idea: God doesn't have a good heart.
–John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance

If I said I do not struggle with this idea, I, too, would be a liar. If I were forced to admit when and how often I wrestle with it, the honesty would shame me on the outside and break me on the inside. Yet I am also somehow certain of His goodness, His heart. How can I do both? Perhaps it is because He takes such joy in demonstrating His love that He allows Satan's deceptive proposition in the first place.

I'm not even approaching the level of productivity that I would find satisfactory today, but I'll let go of those ambitions for the sake of peace. A full day's work for a full day's pay; I can only give from what has been given me.

Blue Willow Tea House makes a welcome, peaceful lunch break, and I'll say it until I am also blue. Sipping Earl Grey and snacking on a banana-walnut cake, with flute and drum music playing softly in the background and a cheerful, long-skirted server with an abundance of rings and a charming smile attending to my comforts. She knew I was going to order my Earl Grey, so perhaps this is becoming my place as well. I had the salad; I've earned the cream cheese frosting.

Enterprise tonight. We'll see if the crew can play nice with one another. They say time heals all wounds; I'd also never underestimate the power of Olympia's hot pepperoni pizza. If nothing else, it will keep our mouths full for a time.

How am I? I feel out of touch, and want more time than I have. Maybe you already knew that.

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