Yesterday I was comforted by the simple, silly things: two unexpected hours of Deep Space Nine, an impromptu dinner with more beer than we should have ordered, and a late night conversation about the interior of a man's heart (if I knew, things might be different, no?). Still plenty of self-involved brooding, but maybe I can work other things and feelings into my emotional diet.
A few more hours, then rest, I hope. A second congregational meeting today after second service. There are times when the medicine is so strong and tastes so foul that it must be given in doses. No spoonful of sugar here. Hope is more powerful, anyway.
The big news for the congregation is that Presbytery has issued the strongest possible sanction to our ex-pastor. He is deposed, his pastorate in our denomination ended. I agree with the decision; it even gives me hope for him. God is in every second of this, and if he is to face his own life, the distractions must be cleared from the table. Now there is hope that he can learn to accept love that isn't based on performance, on brilliance, on service or ministry-- love that is simply agape, both poured out on him through others and poured directly into his soul.
He is more committed to us than we dare to dream.