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Hope in Him

Though He slay me, yet I will hope in Him
-Job 13:15


Getting a little sick of myself and my moodiness of late. Too often I've been behaving as a spoiled child, complete with tantrums and pouting. There has to be some kind of middle ground-- higher ground-- between that and shutting down completely, a foundation of faith on which I can stand, even as I see and feel.

That's the thing: either of the other extremes is a way for me to respond in faithlessness. He will not take care of me, He does not love me, He has abandoned me, I must take care of myself. I live as if I have been left behind and to my own devices, poor as they may be. In many ways, I believe that more deeply than I believe the gospel.

Hope in Him, even though I struggle and cry. Hope in Him, even as longing and emptiness compete for the territory of my wild heart. Hope in Him, even when it would hurt less to give up hope entirely.

I've been given so much, been loved so much. God, forgive me for not being able to see that right now. Open my eyes. Heal my heart.

Comments

*pissy face*

(That's supposed to cheer you up, right?)
I think I need an icon of you and Patti doing the face. Animated would be a bonus.
sounds like you've had a hard day(s) since i've seen you last. and, as always, i'm at a loss for "words of wisdom." know that i'm standing next to you and that you are not alone. thank you for letting our worlds collide.

Things went south on every front (nothing unanticipated, of course). I'm home early and eating the remainder of that amazing pizza. We may need more than Wednesdays.

Glad you're here.