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Vivace

Give to the wind thy fears

Overheard on the bus, one little old lady to another: "Since we dyed our hair white, everyone is so nice to us!"

Lots jammed in already today (with communitygroup yet to come), all good, yet I'm strangely jangled. Spent some time in the morning with students from Seattle Pacific University talking about what it means to be a church in our neighborhood, then attended a luncheon for Operation Nightwatch. On the way back to the office, I started to feel suddenly overwhelmed (akin to the unsettled nervousness that comes in dreams when you have to take a final exam for a class you've never attended). Not quite sure what jumped the track; perhaps nothing more than the simple but jarring jolt of looking outside my own narrow perspective. At this point, I don't want to make too much of it, nor do I think it wise to disregard it entirely just yet.

So I'm deliberately not trusting my emotional instruments when responding to things that feel like they're flying my direction. Choosing responses rather than just reacting makes a big difference. Bigger still is clinging to the truth, the sure knowledge that I am a broken man in a broken world in need of a glorious Savior. That's not a pretty bow to put atop my fears in order to make them go away; rather, it's a vital context for glimpsing the larger reality into which those fears fit.

Comments

I love you.

I could go on and on all day…

Your title reminds me of an Amy Carmichael quote; "If thou dost harbour sorrow, let not thine arrow know it; whisper it but to thy saddle bow, and ride abroad with song."

I believe the analogy is a knight or cavalry soldier discarding his fears silently to himself while venturing forward in joyful bravery. Ride forth singing. Wonderful. Recalls a favourite part of RotK…

"And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the City."

Oh, it seems the source is from The Proverbs of Alfred The Great c.12thC AD. The mystique just intensified.

Which also reminds me of this one…

'God showed me that the Fiend has now the same malice as he had before the Incarnation . . . Also I saw the Lord scorn his malice and despise him as nothing, and he wants us to do so. Because of this sight I laughed greatly, and that made those around me to laugh as well; and their laughter was pleasing to me . . . for I understood that we may laugh, to comfort ourselves, and rejoice in God, because the devil is overcome.' – Lady Julian of Norwich

And I can never get enough on the topic of courage…

"If in this supreme test, in face of which the braggart falls silent and every heroic gesture is paralysed, a man walks straight up to the cause of his fear and is not deterred from doing that which is good; if moreover he does so for the sake of good - this man, and he alone, is truly brave." – Josef Pieper

'It requires heroic courage and self-surrender to hold firmly to a simple faith and to keep singing the same tune confidently when grace itself seems to be singing a different one in another key . . . But if only we have the courage to walk unfalteringly in the path of love and obedience to the duty and demands of the present moment, we are emulating Jesus himself.' – Jean-Pierre de Caussade

"Because" said the Mouse "this is a very great adventure, & no danger seems to me so great as that of knowing when I get back to Narnia that I left a mystery behind me through fear" – Reepicheep, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis

"What a man is on his knees before God - that he is and nothing more."
– Robert Murray McCheyne

"A disciplined self is a self of power"
– Kathryn Kuhlman
Noodle.

I just saw the movie Jesus Camp. I remember you referencing it and am really curious as to what you think about it.
I've only seen clips—what I saw made me sad and scared the bejeezus out of me.

That said, I'm so tired of Christians being pounded on that it's hard to even think too much about it. There's always some sin we can be (justly) called to account for; the miracle of the gospel continues to be that in Christ, God forgives and redeems the Church. That's always confused the world, and it always will—they critique what we believe without knowing who we believe. Our faith is deeply personal because it's centered on a Person with whom we have a relationship, rather than faith for the sake of itself or some ideal.

When people insist on seeing it from the latter angles, it makes no sense at all, so there's nothing to offset the lunacy they might see in things like Jesus Camp. Only the Holy Spirit can open eyes and hearts to see Jesus for who He is; we can only bear witness to how He has shown Himself to us.